When I was in college I loved the "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" segment that was frequently featured on Saturday Night Live. (That was when I had the energy and interest to stay up until midnight on Saturdays). One of my favorites deep thoughts was "The crows seem to be calling my name, thought Caw."
Anyway, my sweet son Isaac had a "deep thought" this week. He came walking into the laundry room as I was folding clothes (story of my life!) and he said, "Mom, I don't think that our Brother Baby is going to like watching television." So, of course I asked him why he would think that. He said, "Because all of the people on the little kids shows have white skin."
To this I responded, "Huh? (long pause) Well, what about Little Bill?"
He looked at me with great disdain and said, "Mom, they don't even make that show anymore." and walked away.
Once again I realize how totally unprepared I am for dealing with all of the potential issues ahead. I have lived my entire life in such a "white girl bubble" I had one black person in my entire graduating class of 270. What do I know about being a minority or dealing with prejudice? Why in the world would God choose ME for this journey? It's certainly not because I'm capable.
I don't know-will our baby feel that all of the people on the little kids shows have white skin? I know I am just thinking of this beautiful dark-skinned child that I can't wait to parent and love and cuddle with and how I want to be a forever mommy to him. It's hard for me to believe that in this day and age there will be those who see him as anything but my handsome son- no matter what his skin color may be.
Then I think about the reality of the fact that one day he is going to want to ask some pretty little girl out for ice cream. What if she's blond haired and blue-eyed and her parents aren't okay with that? Wow!?! What do I do then? What is this going to look like over the next 5- 10- 15 years?
I am so glad that God gives us enough light for our path today. I don't suppose milkshake dates are in the near future. So, I guess I'll keep trying to educate myself about these issues which will inevitably come, realizing that ultimately God will give me the wisdom to deal with the hurts and prejudices we'll face.
In the mean time-I'll deal with the more immediate issues like should I use cloth or disposable diapers this time? I'm so confused- nobody was "going green" the last time I had a baby. Baby gear has changed way too much in 4 years!
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“Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit" says the Lord. Zechariah 4:6
About Me
- CHRISTY
- I am one blessed wife and mommy of 5 seeking to follow Jesus wherever he leads me! I blog about the daily chaos that is my life.
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3 comments:
Very insightful for a little guy! I think you are ahead of the game because you are even thinking about these things now. God is preparing you and will always be there to give wisdom and guidance!
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Beth
Adopting transracially is a sea change, full of expected and unexpected things and new perspectives. Kind of like having blinders come off. Even if you are intellectually prepped...it's different once it happens. You will forever be a multiracial family, which means a whole different approach to the world and eyes to see it. In a good way, but not always in an easy way. I wouldn't change it for anything, but it's good that you are already thinking about these things. They are real issues, even today. With an open heart and mind, however, you can do this. But loving this child won't and can't be "colorblind". You'll get it. It's a wonderful privilege!!
Michele G
One of the questions on our homestudy "autobiography" was ,"Have you thought about you will now be a black family?" It may not have been worded that way, but something like it. I had to answer "No." Like you, I have just thought that we will love this child and the color of his skin won't matter. Well, in our house it won't matter. I know when he gets out into the world, it may be a different story. Heavy stuff.
And the diapers! I want to go cloth this time. I've done disposable with my other 3. But, unfortunately, we'll have to do day care, and cloth won't fly with them. I'll probably do a mix of both!
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