As I have mentioned in previous posts, we are house people. One of our favorite places to shop is Pottery Barn. We love the look of so many of their items and we have had great experiences. Their fabrics wash well, their furniture is extremely sturdy, and even their candles seem to burn longer and smell stronger than many of the other brands we've tried. Every time we go to the mall, we stop into either Pottery Barn of PBKids to shop the clearance racks (that's the only way we shop Pottery Barn)! Here's the other thing I love about Pottery Barn- the customer service. They always bend over backwards to help us. They will run back and forth to the stockroom a dozen times to find all of the things we need, they call other stores to locate those "last" items for us, and they will help us figure out how to best mix and match things to fit our needs. It's great. But, here's the catch. We often have to wait for that help. We know when we go in there, it may be an hour or so before we come out. That's because while we're waiting, someone else is getting the excellent service we're waiting for.

The other place we shop alot- Walmart. Not because we love it, in fact I dread Walmart. However, I'm there almost weekly. It's convenient, it's cheap, they have almost everything I could want in 17 different varieties. Then when I've found it all, I can even check myself out. Which is great because, well, have you ever dealt with the customer service folks at Walmart? Enough said, try getting them to call Tallahassee for a dust ruffle- good luck!

Okay, you ask, now what does all of this have to do with adoption? I'm getting there.

I have to say this week has been better than last, except for Wednesday. Wednesday was hard. I cried a lot Wednesday. My husband says he set me up for failure- I'm not so sure that's true-here's what happened. Tuesday afternoon Ryan called and suggested I just e-mail our caseworker, Natalie. He thought maybe just getting some assurance that we were still on their radar screen might help us feel encouraged. So, against my better judgement, I did. Wednesday, by about 3:00 when I hadn't heard from Natalie and I was having a frantic day otherwise, I started crying. I got angry, I was thinking about how we had waited way too long and paid way too much money for their services to not be getting a response. I was throwing a temper tantrum.

Phone rings. Natalie. Tears. Embarassing. The conversation went something like this:

Natalie (in her sweet, kind voice): Hi Christy, I got your e-mail.

Me: (with slightly quivering voice) Yeah, we're struggling a little bit right now.

Natalie: I know this wait is so hard, I think it's just all the unknowns. I can't tell you anything about how much longer you'll wait. But I wanted to let you know that you're not forgotten and our in-country staff is doing everything they can to get referrals ready. (Long pause)

Me: (with very quivering voice) Yeah, I heard the courts re-opened this week.

Natalie: Yeah, they re-opened Monday. (Long pause)

Me: That's good, now some folks should be getting court dates.

Natalie: Yeah. (LONG PAUSE)

Me: (barely able to talk) Thanks for calling Natalie.

Natalie: You're welcome. Well, do you have any other questions for me?

Me: (choking) No, thanks for calling Natalie.

CLICK as I hang up the phone and begin my audible sobbing.

MORTIFIED!

So, I compose myself enough to go to church and teach my 20 first graders about the story of Abraham and his descendants and that God always keeps his promises.

That night, I got home from church and decided to read a few blogs before heading to bed and I came across the story of the Carpenters. I've been following their blog for months. She's a Cincinnati girl like me. Their son was found abandoned- umbilical cord and placenta still attached in a patch of grass. He'd been left for the hyenas, but fortunately, a woman grazing her cattle found him. They decided they wanted to go to his village and see that patch of grass and meet that woman and get every ounce of information they could about their son.

Gladney, our agency, arranged it all. They tracked down the woman, arranged travel companions and gathered all of the resources they needed for the trip. I'm thinking that beats calling Tallahassee for a dust ruffle. In that moment, watching their video- I realized, I want a Walmart timeline when God wants to give me a Pottery Barn experience. I even said to my husband, this is just like Pottery Barn! You may have to wait forever, but when it's your turn, they really take care of you.

Then I thought, how many times in my life have I settled for Walmart when God wanted to give me Pottery Barn? Too many I'm sure. While this continues to be hard, I continue to have many moments where I thank God that he has made me wait. I thank him that this has been hard. I thank him that he's given me this time of resting in his word- feeling like it's the only certain thing in my life right now. I thank him that this will not last forever. I thank him that as long as I live this will be a time that I recall seeing his faithfulness every day in very powerful ways. And, I thank him that someday it's going to be my turn at the counter!