It's been almost exactly 5 months since we left for Ethiopia. Almost 5 months since we met our beautiful boy. I'll never forget that first hour. The way he just sank into my chest and held on for dear life. I am sure he was absolutely terrified- that made 2 of us!
Some days it is still very hard. Occasionally I still have these "What was I thinking!" moments. There are still weeks when I wonder if it's ever going to feel normal again. I admit, the whole adjustment has been so much tougher than I ever dreamed. Abe is one intense kiddo and I am way too attached to order and things being "just so." We've had our share of struggles and prayer has been my close companion.
But then, I look back at these past 5 months and I can't believe just how far we've come. There is not any big thing that I have to measure our progress, but the sum of all of the little things gives me lots of hope. Little things like sleeping through the night instead of the nightly fearful fits, or being able to walk into the next room without Abe being reduced to tears. Then, of course, there are the smiles. Oh, they melt me.
If there is one word that I think sums up our last 5 months, it would be trust. I have had to trust that God really did choose the right family for Abe, that he knew our limitations, and yet he chose me to be Abe's mama anyway. Abe has also had to learn to trust us. He has had to trust that we really are on his team. I think that is the corner we've turned the last 6 weeks or so. I think he really is beginning to trust us. He realizes that we are always coming back, we are always going to feed him, our touch is always motivated by love, and that our "no" is for his good. These things are slow going, but they are definitely coming together.
The progress is often two steps forward and one step back, but it's progress. And I know that one day, I'll truly count it all joy. Every part of this crazy, difficult journey that knit my heart together with this beautiful child will be a precious testimony of God's faithfulness. For that, I am grateful.
I have to leave you with this photo. This is Abe's latest skill. He is "showing his self-control." You gotta love it!
5 comments:
How precious-and real! Thank you for sharing this journey and this boy with us!
Parenthood is truly a journey, huh? A rough-row-to-hoe...my sister, my friend. Keep hoe'in and sowin'. It is all in God's grand design. The fruits of your labor will be harvested in due time. Your faithfulness is evident.
What a wonderful and honest post!
Thank you for being so transparent. You have motivated me to pray all the more for our upcoming Ethiopian adoption. So many blogs make everything sound so rosy, it is easy to have false hope that the transition will be all sweet and beautiful. I love coming to your blog, because I know I will get an authentic report. My husband and I have adopted an older child and I know that the bonding does not take place as rapidly as we would all hope. Adoption truly is a labor of love! Of course, there are sweet rewards in it as well!
My prayer for you:
"Lord Jesus, I ask that you would overwhelm Abe's Mama and Daddy with a love for him. I play that the bonding will be quick and complete! I pray that little Abe would be a huge blessing to his family-that you would raise hime up to be a mighty man of God! Please bless this family with your peace and love. Amen."
Dawn
Thank you for sharing so honestly. We all want to show that we have it all together and that we CAN homeschool and adopt and do it all~well.
We will pray for you and your sweet family, that God will bless your home with more sweet faith in Him.
Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God. He is my might rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. selah
Psalms 62:5-8
Blessings to you,
Tricia Dixon
Wife of 15 years to my best friend and homeschooling Mom to one little lady and five men in the making and adopting from Ethiopia :o)
Post a Comment