A Decade

A decade. 10 years. That's how long it's been. A decade ago I was living in an apartment directly across the street from where I live right now. We had come to the Carolinas so that my husband could finish school on the campus of Southeastern. I don't think I'll ever forget that February day when he came into our apartment and announced that he had found a church staff position that he'd like to apply for. My response was both hasty and selfish. I told him in no uncertain terms that church people were mean and that he had not brought me to a seminary 10 hours from home so that he could go to work at a church. I said my peace, and that settled it.

Until the next morning when I opened my Bible and God clearly showed me my disobedient spirit. I called Ryan and explained to him that if he wanted to apply, I would support it. I convinced myself that it would be a neat way to pay the bills for a while, until he finished school and we could then pursue our real future in international missions. We interviewed, accepted our first church staff position, and began full time work in children's ministry.

That was 10 years ago. 10 wonderful, fun-filled, incredible years ago. I never could have guessed that God would allow us to serve 10 years in this capacity, but He has. And it has been the ride of a lifetime. For 10 years, I have had the privilege of investing in families alongside my husband and it has been such a blessing. We became so comfortable and content in this role, that when we sensed a change in our call, we were initially hesitant to consider international missions again.

God has used this time to teach us so much. We have learned much about our sinful nature and our desperate need for Him. We have come to know that we are totally incapable of navigating the worlds of parenting, marriage, or ministry without total reliance on him. We have had an amazing level of accountability as we've lived our lives in a very public arena within our little community. We're a little scared about leaving that behind.

While Ryan and I are very excited that God has called us TO this new journey, we are also very sad about what God is calling us AWAY from. We will genuinely miss the opportunities we've had to invest in hundreds of kiddos. We will miss the opportunities to counsel families on everything from talking with your children about salvation to how to navigate temper tantrums to choosing schooling options to, well, you name it. We've pretty much heard it all and through all of it, we've found that Jesus is always enough and pursuing His standard is always the best way to solve every kind of problem.

We will miss the fact that our calendars have pivoted around events such as VBS, Baby dedication, and Egg Hunts. That's what we have known for so long, and that's all that our children have ever known. And it's a little bit exciting and a lot frightening.

There are these moments, when we wonder if we're crazy. Aside from the reality of leaving behind our beloved America where everything is familiar and comfortable, we also struggle a bit with the shift in ministry. Ryan has loved what he has done. And, if I may brag on him for a moment, he's pretty darn good at it. We know that there would be many opportunities for him to "advance" by American church standards. In fact, the week before we went for our interviews in Kansas City, he received 3 unsolicited requests for his resume, one of which would have been a big "step up." Tempting, yes.

But, here is where we landed after praying hard. We know, that we know, that we know, that this is what our next step is supposed to be. God has clearly affirmed it time after time. When we hear disturbing news coming out of our future home, we know. When we compare the salaries side by side, we know. When we have to give away beloved possessions, we know. When the families we've built relationships with ask us why we have to go, we know. And that's really what matters. When we were facing our adoption with Abe, God gave me this verse as an answer to those who questioned our decision, and He has reminded me of it many times during this process. James 4:17 says, " If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them." For us, we know that this is the good we ought to do.

So, as I reflect on the past decade, I can't even process all of the emotions I feel. I am so grateful to God for the amazing decade He's given us. I'm humbled by the many families who have trusted us to lead their children, pray for the needs, and keep their secrets. I'm sad because I am losing this ministry platform that God has allowed us to have. Yet, I'm excited to see what comes next. I am thankful to be given this amazing opportunity. I'm overwhelmed with love for a people I've yet to meet. I'm burdened for the lost walking in darkness in West Africa. I am eager to support the work of those who are already on the ground. I am scared of the unknown and yet ready for the challenge.

On the 27th of March, exactly 10 years to the weekend that we started this "church staff" journey, we'll step down. I can't imagine all of the emotions that will come that day, but I am excited to see what the next decade will hold. If it's anything like the last one, I say, "Bring it on!"