Lazy Day

Friday 1/16/09

This was our least eventful day in Addis. We found out back in mid-December that we were going to be unable to meet Abe’s birth mom. Our caseworker had checked into the details of a meeting and it was going to involve an in-country flight and an overnight stay for the 3 of us. That would have left Abe in Addis with a caregiver and would have really stretched our stay and our budget. We had asked about flying her into the city, but for ethical reasons, we could not. An adoptive family is not allowed to gift a birth parent anything over $25 in value, and the trip would have broken that rule. So, we made no mental preparations to meet with birth mom.

However, we found out on Tuesday at lunch that Belay had found a ride for her into the city so that we could meet with her. Apparently, it is a two day car trip each way. The meeting was supposed to take place today. So, we decided to just hang close to the house today and wait for a call to come and meet her. But, she was delayed and now the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow at 11:00. It is important to us that we meet her so that one day we can share as many details as possible about this woman who gave birth to him and then allowed us the gift of parenting him.

The restful day was welcomed by all of us as we are getting tired. The drastic cultural differences can be overwhelming and quite frankly, we’re all ready to go home. I think it would be a very different kind of trip if Abe could just go exploring with us, but we’re constantly torn between discovering the city and spending time with him. New travel guidelines went into effect a few months ago which prevent adoptive parents from traveling with their adopted child in the city. That means we can’t go eat or shop with him. When we do go out, I’m anxious to get back and see him.

Tonight, I had my first (and hopefully last) meltdown. When we found out about 4:00 this afternoon that we definitely were not going to have a meeting today, we decided we would go out for dinner. There are 2 restaurants that have been recommended as having fairly good “American” food. So, we decided we’d try one of them. I have done really well all week with making do wherever we’ve gone, but I was ready for a cheeseburger. So, we arranged for the driver and caregiver to come so that we could go out. The driver gets there and it’s not our normal driver. We asked him if he knew where the first restaurant was and he said yes, but it was too far. Then, he told us that our driver told him to take us to the Greek Club. Thus began a few minutes of debate and suggestions and a phone call to our original driver. He assured us that the Greek Club would have the same food as the “American” restaurants. So, we went to the Greek Club, but I was tired and I was frustrated that we’d wasted a whole day in the city just waiting, and I started crying. I spent the next 1/2 hour fighting tears. I would be okay for a minute, then I would lose it. Of course, it wasn’t about the cheeseburger, I was just at my limit. It was awful. I am sure our waiter at the Greek Club thought I was a goofy American moron!

The whole evening was way too memorable. When Abby went to the restroom at the Greek Club, she got locked in the bathroom and by the time I went to check on her, she was in a panic. The restroom attendant tried to help, with no luck. Then, she went and got a man and he came in and worked on the knob and got it open.

The food was not so good and definitely not so American. Abby got a “chicken gordon blue” (yes, that’s how it was spelled on the menu) and we never did find any chicken in it.

Then, when our driver came to pick us up, he couldn’t stop the car alarm from going off and it took him a while to get it started because of the security features. By that time, we were all laughing hysterically just because we needed to.

We did decide to end the evening on a sweet note by going for ice cream at Kaldi’s, which is basically the Ethiopian Starbucks. The cinnamon ice cream was yummy and it was just the taste of home I needed.

We have finished most of the packing for our return trip home and we are excited that we are returning home with only 6 pieces of luggage as opposed to the 9 that we brought. That means we won’t have any rolling suitcases in the airports like we had on all of our layovers coming here. That will be a relief with our wiggly 15 month old!

Here are some photos we took during our afternoon at the Bejoe House.

Shopping and Cultural Dinner

Thursday 1/15/09

We had a very busy day today, with a variety of activities. We left the house about 10:15 to go shopping. We wanted to get several gifts to take back with us. First, our driver took us to an outdoor shopping area. It was similar to an American flea market, but not really. We found all kinds of interesting items and the prices were ridiculously low. We were told we needed to haggle with them, but that’s hard to do when you feel like you’re already committing highway robbery. Ryan was much better than I, so I let him pay for almost all of the transactions.

We visited a third government orphanage after we finished our lunch and shopping. This orphanage housed children aged 0-10. The children were so sweet! They really wanted to have their pictures made and so Ryan took dozens of photos of kids and then let them look into the screen to see themselves. They really liked it when I turned the video camera on and flipped the screen around while I filmed them. There was one that totally captured my heart. She waited for me as I walked in and out of the buildings and would grab my hand each time. 

I have to say that orphanages are actually much worse than I pictured. I think every other part of the experience has been less intense than I expected, except the orphanages. The children are “loosely” supervised, to say the least. There appears to be very little for them to do all day long and their appearance is pitiful. I’m sure the fact that Ryan and I have such a heart for children probably makes it that much harder for us. I looked at Ryan as we pulled away today and I said, “If the people in our church could see what we just saw, I truly believe every one of these children would have a home!” But, according to our agency, most have them will never have a home. We were told tonight that 80% of the adoption requests are for 2 and under and 90% are for 4 and under. That means that most of those faces I saw today will not ever have someone to call mom and dad. It’s heartbreaking! They are such precious, beautiful children.

Tonight we attended a cultural dinner with traditional dancing and food. Those of you who know me well know that I am NOT an adventurous eater. However, I did at least taste part of the meal. The staple food here in Ethiopia is injera. It’s like a large spongy sourdough pancake. It’s served with a variety of foods all spread out on a common table. Then, everyone tears off a piece of injera and dips it in the stew or meat of choice. I have to say- I didn’t love it, BUT, I did try the chicken, the goat, and the lamb. The chicken was probably the spiciest thing I’ve ever eaten in my life. Thirty minutes and a bottle of water later, I was still trying to wash away the heat. I did however enjoy the dancing- it was amazing. Of course, we forgot to take the camera to dinner! Overall, it was a great day and I think we got to see a large slice of Ethiopian culture.

The photos I've posted at the top are of our shopping time, these were taken at the market where we shopped.  The photos at the bottom were all taken at the last government orphanage we went to.  I wish I could show you the precious faces that belong to those beautiful hands and feet, but it's against the rules!

Embassy Day

Coffee Ceremony at Gladney Care Center

Abe with his special caregiver in the traditional Ethiopian outfit she gave to him.

Laundry time at the Gladney Center

Sights of Addis, notice the Eucalyptus scaffolding on the building, it was everywhere!

Wednesday 1/14/09

Today we began with an early morning. Abe had a much tougher night last night, and finally about 4:50 I gave up and decided to get out of bed. He had no trouble falling asleep, but he woke up fearful several times and would begin screaming. Because we’re staying in a guest house where other people are just above us, we ended up giving him bottles several times, just to get him quiet. I can only imagine what thoughts and feelings are going through his head, so I guess a little screaming is par for the course.

We started out the day at the Gladney Care Centers. This is where Abe has lived for the past 5 months. We were able to walk around and see the three youngest houses. There were SO many babies and toddlers. They are stuffed to the gills. Even with 105 children in their care, it was obvious that their standard of care is excellent. The facilities are not fancy, but they are adequate, the children were clean, and the caregivers obviously love the children. At least 10 different caregivers greeted our son by name as we were walking in and out of the various rooms. We are so thankful to Gladney and the amazing folks who work with them.

We then had a coffee ceremony at the care centers. Each child in our travel group of four families received a gift from their special caregiver. They each received a handsome traditional Ethiopian outfit. We watched a woman roast the coffee beans and create a super strong coffee which we then drank. It was served with popcorn. Traditionally, each person drinks 3 rounds of the coffee, although I must confess that Ryan and I weren’t able to make it through one. I’m sure it was delicious, but we don’t ever drink coffee, so it was a bit much for us.) Even though we weren’t that impressed by the coffee, we were once again impressed with the grace and beauty of these people and the rich tradition and history of this country!

After lunch, we headed for the US Embassy. This was the last hurdle through which we had to jump to get this boy home. We were a little worried, but we need not have been. It took about 2 minutes and it was done. We basically had to raise our right hands and swear that all of our adoption documents had been true and then we had to answer about 5 questions which helped to confirm that everything had been done ethically. Then we were told we would be able to pick up Abe’s passport and visa on Friday AM, making everything official. It was very simple and we both breathed a sigh of relief when it was over.

Normally, when we go out, a caregiver must come and care for Abe while we are out and about. Fortunately, Abe was able to spend the day with us since it was Embassy Day and our schedule centered on that appointment. Overall, he did great. He continues to manifest his love for food and eating in general. He also has showed us today that he is an excellent screamer, and it is his primary means of communication when he gets frustrated. Fortunately, Ryan’s bubble therapy was a hit!

Kolfe and Kechene

A few photos of our time at Kolfe, this first one is of our new friend, Solomon.

Tuesday 1/13/09

We woke up feeling rested after a good night’s sleep- the first in 4 nights. We finally heard Abe cry when he woke. He woke up screaming and when Ryan took him out of the crib, it didn’t help at all! It took him a few minutes to calm down. We decided to try a bottle, and that did the trick. After he finished it we had our happy, smiley guy back.

We enjoyed lunch with Belay and several adoptive families before going to two of the government orphanages. This was very hard. The first of the orphanages was Kolfe. This home is for boys ages 12 and up. Basically the boys are allowed to stay as long as they are in school. Once they finish school, they are given approximately $450 and sent out to make their way in the world. The living conditions are unfathomable, yet they were incredibly kind, loving, and joyful. I thought, from everything I’d heard, that this would be the hardest part of the trip for me, but that was yet to come.

We left Kolfe and went to Kechene. This orphanage services children ages 0-12 years and girls exclusively from 12 years. This is where I Iost it. The older girls building was tough, but when we went into the building that housed the toddlers and infants, well, words can’t describe the emotions I felt. There was one room that had about six 2-3 year old children. They were dressed in dirty footed blanket sleepers. All of their noses were runny and there was no adult who was obviously caring for them. I could see no toys except for one little boy playing with a stick in the dirt. But, they had each other. They walked around with us for a few minutes and they clung to one another’s hands. They had a community of their very own.

They followed us into the infant room and I was only able to stay there a moment before I had to walk away. The babies were so beautiful and so tiny. There were 4 of them laying in sad little cribs, all attempting to hold their own bottles. We were not allowed to take any photos at Kechene, but I know the pictures in my mind will be there forever.

The one thing that I take comfort in is the fact that those little guys have excellent odds at finding forever families. Unfortunately, that is not the case with those children ages 5 and up. I just know that if people could see these children, their beautiful, graceful spirits, and the conditions in which they live, this would not be the case. They are precious and they were eager for a hug, handshake, or any sort of touch.

We stopped at the supermarket on the way home and then spent the rest of the evening hanging out with Abe. We had left him with his Gladney caregiver as suggested for part of the afternoon and he had a very easy time transitioning both when we left him and when we returned. Overall, he’s a very content little guy.

We have determined he’s certainly a good eater. He has eaten everything we’ve offered happily and anytime we eat, we’d better be prepared to share! He continues to be a happy guy freely offering smiles and occasional laughs.

Gotcha Day!

Monday 1/12/09

Today was the big day. We arrived in Addis Ababa about 11:30 AM and quickly got our visas and made our way through customs. We had made sure to pack in such a way that when they told us we could go to Abe, we would have everything ready to go. We didn’t have to wait long. We literally put our bags in our room, grabbed our cameras and Abe’s bag and headed to the care center where he’s been living since August.

We really had low expectations of how the first meeting would go. When we arrived at the care center Abby Brown went to go get Abe. Before leaving, she warned us that he may not respond well at first and that we needed to prepare for him to be very frightened. We sat on the couch in that waiting room for what seemed like forever. Then, he was there, in her arms. He was a little timid and reserved, but he never really cried and we were all able to hold him and talk with him.

We left the care center and he fell asleep in my lap on the way home. It was very surreal. I thought I would cry, but I really only teared up one time, when our Abby held him for the first time and she cried.

When we got back to the guest house, we decided to give him a bath. We were all very amused at the large amount of flesh on his body! His tummy and his thighs were pleasantly plump. Then we covered him with eczema creams that we had brought from home. His feet were very cracked and several places were obviously infected. He was pleasant through all of it and began to give smiles more freely. Within a few hours we had even gotten a few laughs.

That was the point when the crying hit. Ryan and I both had our moment together. When we’d dressed him and we began playing with him and he was so cute and happy we just looked at one another and broke down. Amazed again at God’s faithfulness and the fact that this dream had really come true.

We spent the remainder of the evening at our guest house. We just visited with the other adoptive families and enjoyed doing the “ordinary” things like feeding Abe and changing his diaper.

When we put him to bed at 8:00, we had yet to hear him cry.

Good Old USA!

Hello everyone! We are delighted to report that after the longest 18 hours of our life, we are at JFK. I have never been so glad to be an American in all my life! I did a little write-up of each day as we were in Ethiopia and I'm going to try to post a few of them during this last layover. That of course depends on how long Abe is fascinated by the stacking cups we brought along!

Update #3

This is not really an update - we really do not have any other information. Christy is going to call her mom in the morning (Sun.) to report if their flight is on schedule. Right now, the plan is that they will land at RDU, terminal C, at 1:25 PM. They are flying American Airline. Several of us are going there to welcome them off the plane. Not really off the plane - due to security, we cannot go past the baggage claim. However, I am told it is what you do when a family comes home. I don't know about you, but I cannot wait to see them!