Together

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life. Philippians 2:14-16

For years, this has been one of my "challenge verses." I use it to challenge my children, and lately it's been kicking my tail too! Quite frankly, it's one of the reasons I haven't been blogging much. I'm having a hard time staying "on the happy side of life." I figure I'll just follow Thumper's advice from the classic film, Bambi. Which is, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nuttin' at all."

Ryan and I are going through a very tough and demanding time right now, and it's hard. It seems like the last 18 months of our life have been some of the most intense and exhausting of our adult life, and we are weary. As in bone tired, worn out, dried up, spent. It's not a fun place to be and I'm ready for the Lord to decide that I've been in the fire long enough for now. However, I trust that the Lord knows our limits and he knows just how he desires to shape us and what his plans are for us and that is what I'm clinging to right now. It's hard, but it's also a precious time. Ryan and I keep saying that when we make it out of this season, we're going to look back at it as one of those times when the Lord was so obviously sustaining us.

There are many things that are contributing to our stress, most of which I'm not ready to share. But, the good news is, Ryan only has 8 weeks left of school. When we make it to August 20th, that man will have completed 36 credit hours in 7 months. He has done this while juggling a demanding ministry job and fathering 5 children. Not to mention, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, and caring for his needy wife. He is amazing.

Through all of this, there is one thing that I have realized. The Lord is enough. He really is. He has been stripping away so many of the things that I hold dear, and while it hurts, it's okay. It's as if I am standing on a piece of pavement and the Lord has a jackhammer and he is just knocking away every bit of ground until all that's left is the little bit of concrete under my feet. But, he has left me everything I need for that which he has called me to. And so, I watch and I wait and I hope and I cling and I pray, because that's all I know to do. Thankfully, my precious husband is clinging with me and together we're growing to better understand God's will for our lives. It's hard, but it's good.

In an effort to change the morale in my world, I've decided that this month, I am going to "do something for myself." Something that will encourage me without spending lots of money or taxing my family. So, I've decided to blog again. I love it and it's like therapy for me. It encourages my soul, even if it's just sharing some silly family story. So, I'm going to try to post SOMETHING every day in July. We'll see how well it works, but that's my goal and my little "gift" to myself. I have at least a dozen posts that have been rattling around in my head and heart for weeks, and it's high time, I put them out there in cyberspace to look back and laugh at in a few years. So, if there is anyone out there still stopping by, I look forward to spending July together!