Reality and Goodness

A few of our "rejects"

Last Saturday afternoon was absolutely beautiful. It snowed all afternoon, and because I'm so terrible about following the weather, it was a surprise to me. Now, we don't get much snow in the Carolinas and definitely not in early December and it was a true delight. To top it off, we were decorating our tree and the snow made it sort of magical.

I know this sounds selfish, but I feel like the snow was just a little gift for me. Because last Saturday morning was not so beautiful. It started out fine, with all of us excited about getting out the tree and the ornaments and decorating for our favorite holiday. Of course, the reality of it is, there is always a lot of grunt work before the fun part can begin. So, innocently enough, Ryan asked me if I would come and tell him which of our fall decorations I would like to keep as he was taking them down. And that began a very emotional process for both of us.

You see, when you're moving to the other side of the world, you don't get to take much of your "stuff." We knew that, and we could have told you that pretty nonchalantly in a conversation. But when it came down to pulling out a plastic tub and saying, "If it doesn't fit in this tub, it doesn't go," well, that's reality. So, we began sorting, which wasn't too difficult. Then we had to agree on what to do with the abandoned stuff, again not too difficult. But then we began to talk about the fact that this was 3 little tubs of fall decorations. What about the 9 tubs of Christmas decorations? Or the garage full of tools? Or the attic full of toys? Or the closets full of way too many clothes? And the whole process became overwhelming.

The rest of the afternoon, as we unpacked the Christmas stuff I kept thinking through what might make the cut and what wouldn't. It was a long afternoon. I LOVE Christmas and I know that one of the hardest things about moving overseas for me will be the distance during the Christmas holidays. I will miss the decorations and traditions that I love so much. I kept reminding myself of how purposeful this move is and how thankful I am that it is becoming a reality. And it helped, mostly. But it is still hard and will continue to be hard.

In some ways, I think it would have been so much easier to do this 15 years ago when everything we owned was hand-me-downs or Big Lots purchases. But we have lots of memories, time, and money invested in this stuff and the truth is, it's harder than I thought it would be. So many of those things were gifts from people we love or purchases that we saved or searched for. But ultimately, I kept coming back to the fact that it is stuff. Stuff is not eternal. People don't need stuff, they need hope and I refuse to let my attachment to stuff keep me from sharing the hope that comes from knowing Christ. I had to tell myself the truth all day long, but I still went to bed tired and drained.

Sunday morning when I woke up, I took a minute of quiet time, like I usually do before waking the kids up. I picked up a book I've been reading from the last few months called Voices of the Faithful and opened it to the correct date. God, in his goodness, used that page to minister to my heart with this story from a missionary serving in the Caribbean. In the first paragraphs, she was sharing about her first Christmas on the field and how she struggled to get in the Christmas spirit without all of her normal decorations and friendships. Then she said this, "As I sought the Lord, I was shown the actual heart of Christmas, which in turn changed my own heart. It occurred to me that while all these things symbolize Christmas, all of these things are not Christmas. I learned that Jesus is enough, Jesus is Christmas. When all the stuff-the lights, gifts, trees, food, and even friends- was taken away, it came down to Jesus."

Wow, I look forward to knowing that in my heart the way that I know it in my head more and more as time goes by and I am so thankful that God is good to remind me of the truth when I most need to hear it.