One thing that I love about the Bible is that it never changes, yet every time I read it, I gain a new understanding. Take the Christmas story, for example. I remember my first Christmas as a mom. That year, it was Mary's role that leapt off the page at me. I remember being overwhelmed by her youth and the fear and anxiety she must have experienced, along with the maturity and obedience she showed. Another year, I was totally struck by the idea that Jesus actually left the glory of heaven (as in HEAVEN) to be born in a manger. I always knew that, but I remember when I really KNEW that.
This year, it was something different. It was the shepherds. We don't get any background info on these guys, so I have imagined a bit. I imagine they were pretty ordinary shepherds, just trying to make a decent living. I am sure they were just doing the best they knew how to do with the task they'd been given, sometimes failing miserably.
I imagine that there were lots of other shepherds in the Bethlehem Metro Area that God could have chosen to send the angel messengers to that starry night. Some of those other shepherds were probably wiser, handsomer, more polished, we don't know. But, for some reason, God chose those particular shepherds and He opened up the heavens and He called them to come and worship their king. And they came, out of their obedience and their reverence, they came.
I wonder if for the rest of their lives, some people thought they were crazy? I am curious if there were those who doubted if they'd truly been called to worship? I am sure there were some who wish they'd had that same call.
I know those shepherds were never the same. I wonder if their wives, mothers, and daughters understood that they simply couldn't be who they were before. Life had changed for them, they had been called by God to do something extraordinary. I suspect there were times when they, themselves, wondered if it had really happened or was it simply a dream? I imagine they were comforted by talking to the other shepherds who had been there that night and reliving the amazing events they'd experienced.
This year, I could relate to the shepherds in a way I've never considered before. Their part of the story just leapt off the page at me. Over the last year, as part of our hiring process, Ryan and I have had to articulate our call to missions multiple times. And while it's nothing like worshipping at the manger in Bethlehem, it is the reality of my life. We've had to examine our motives and God's hand in our lives over and over. We have had to defend it to our company, our families, our friends, and many times, our own hearts. There have been moments when I've wondered if we're insane, and then, God's word rushes over me along with the reminders of the moments when God spoke to my heart and told me to go.
I am peppered with questions. Why me, I have 5 children? Why me, we have a good ministry HERE? Why us, our parents will be heartbroken? Aren't their others who are more qualified? more flexible? more adventurous? more gifted at sharing their faith? more __________? And on, and on, and on the list goes. But, I know I've been called.
Whether anyone else in our world can understand, Ryan and I know that God told us to go. And we know of no other acceptable response but to go. We can already see how we will never be the same- not because of anything we've done, but because of what God is doing in us. I have been humbled over and over again to realize that it's not for me to ask why. I also acknowledge that there are many others who are more qualified, equipped, and prepared. Yet, for some reason, knowing our many weaknesses, God has called our little family, and we have a choice to make. And, like the shepherds, Ryan and I have chosen to respond in obedience and we pray that our obedience will bring nothing but glory to God.
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