Holding the Ropes

"I will venture to go down, but remember that you must hold the ropes." William Carey, missionary to India

Recently, I read this quote on a friend's blog and though I had heard it before, it has really been resonating in my heart.  Our family is so very blessed to have some really faithful "rope holders" in our lives.  I can't imagine doing what we are doing without the amazing support we have had.  I know that the Lord uses lots of resources to sustain people through difficulties.   For us, one of those things has been the body of Christ and some really faithful churches.  

I wanted to take a minute to share some of the ways that we have been encouraged by folks around the world and challenge you to consider if there is someone serving overseas that the Lord might have you to minister to in some way.  There's nothing fancy here, just ways that we have been blessed

1. Pray.  Seriously, pray.  I know it doesn't seem like much but it is EvErYtHiNg.  The really, really tough days aren't fixed by chocolate chips or Dr. Pepper.  It is the prayers of God's people that sustain us.  I can't tell you how many times we've been at wit's end, so we've decided to ask people to pray and almost immediately we have seen issues resolved and obstacles removed.  It's not magic, but it is powerful.
2. Remember them.  And let them know that you remember them.  Just a 15 second facebook post or a quick e-mail to let them know that, while they may not be in your zip code, they're still in your heart.  Sometimes we feel as if we don't really "belong" anywhere.  Knowing that we're not forgotten can mean so much.
3. Remember their children.  We have been very blessed that we've had some moms who have really "gotten" what it must be like for our kids to have made this move.  They've made an effort to keep our children alive in their children's mind.  Doing things like having their kids make cards or short videos to send to our kids have made our children feel like they have two homes.  They are so blessed to have friends on both sides of the world.  Just yesterday, Lily got a package from a discipleship class at the church we attended in the States.  These girls sent her a birthday gift, but the thing that was so meaningful was that they sent a picture of each of the girls, taken with birthday props.  They each wrote Lily a note and we all enjoyed looking at the pictures and seeing how her peers had grown.  She is excited about going for our stateside because she knows that she has friends who still care.
4. Consider sending mail.  I have one friend who writes occasionally.  Like a real, genuine letter.  We actually both have FB and sometimes exchange e-mails, but I really love it when she sends a letter.  And what I love the most is that in it, she shares all kinds of daily details.  Not just the big bullet points that make social media or an annual Christmas letter, but the little things.  The kind of things we might have chatted about during a homeschool co-op lunch.  Her letters make me smile because I know it took her time to write them and it's such a gesture of love, but also because she assumes that I still want to be a part of her world.  And I do.   
5. Extend grace.  Understand that this is a really stressful life that we're learning to live here.  There are all of the stresses that you would juggle in the States (parenting, marriage, finances, work, tight schedules, etc.) but then there are also many, many challenges that come from trying to do all of that cross-culturally.  It is exhausting.  And sometimes we want to quit and we may be grumpy and we may take a lot more from relationships than we are able to give.  There are times when our internet won't work or we're just so fried that we can't stand the thought of connecting to the first world.  Don't take it personally.  We're sorry, please love us anyway.  
6. Ask questions about their lives.  Then listen to their answers.  We know you don't want to hear all about our life in West Africa. We promise not to pull out more than one carousel of slides at any given social event.  But do remember, that this is our life.  We're not on a trip.  We're investing our lives here.  Take the time to ask even a few questions about what we're doing.  What we enjoy, what we're looking forward to, that sort of thing.  This can be a very isolated life, having a few people who care about the details of it can go a long way.
7. Welcome them when they are back in the States.  We were overwhelmed with love during our two month visit last fall.  People were kind in so many ways.  I would encourage you to follow the Holy Spirit in how to serve, but we were blessed with everything from hand-me-down clothes to dinner invitations to playdates for our kids.  We were thankful for so many things like gift of manufacturers coupons, giftcards to restaurants, Groupon tutorials, free vehicle maintenance, used suitcases, groceries waiting for us, and so much more.  If you can think of it and you can execute it, chances are they will find it an encouragement.

To all of our rope holders, I say a big thank you!  We are so blessed by all of you.  

Here's Lily with her birthday cards!