One Week

Well, here we are! I didn't know if it would ever come, but we're at the one week mark. Just one week from today we will find out something. We're hopeful and excited, but I must admit I have also found myself in a funk these last few days and it frustrates me.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that I went through a real funk a few weeks before our referral. Funk is my pet name for that stage I go through where I cry for basically no reason, no one can do anything exactly right, and everywhere I look I see something that needs to be accomplished-making me feel overwhelmed. It is not fun, I don't like being in a funk- my family doesn't like my being in a funk. Boo for funks. But, try as I might, here I am dealing with one of my funks again.

Last night, as I was lying in bed, I was trying to figure out exactly what might have triggered this funk. I mean, it's the "most wonderful time of the year." I am looking forward to two weeks of my family being together for the holidays- one of my favorite things. I actually have already accomplished at least 75% of my Christmas preparations. I was really irritated by my bad attitude.

Then I realized. I am facing an enormous change. Hopefully, in one week I will begin preparations to travel to a developing nation. While there I will meet my son. I will bring him home. I have no idea what his personality will be like, how well he will adjust to our schedule, our foods, our family, or even how long it will take him to acknowledge that we are a part of his life? Will he let me hold him and hug him and kiss him right away? Or will it take weeks or months? How will my other children respond to this child? I mean right now they love him, pray for him, and are excited- but when the rubber meets the road, what will it be like? Will we be able to return to our school work in a few weeks and if we do, what will our schedule be like? Will we spend weeks fighting viruses and parasites like so many of our fellow adoptive families have?

OR

In one week we could be delayed. Then I will set aside preparations for traveling. I will begin figuring out how to best dig in and move forward with life here. Not sure for how long or if it will be the only delay or the first of many.

AND

I realized that though my funk is not what I want and I need to control myself, it is not necessarily outlandish that I'm struggling with a funk again. So, I have decided to try using some of my classic funk fighting strategies which include but are not limited to: reading God's word often, praying my way through my "moments", apologizing to my children and husband frequently, reminding myself of what's really important, and assuring myself that God is sovereign and he already knows all the days written for me. So, off I go to face my day- wish me luck with my funk fighting!