Gentle Reminders

Wallowing in self-pity.  That's what I have been doing the last few days.  Circumstances have been challenging and the combination of fatigue, isolation, and a good old sinus infection have had me second-guessing myself and the extra responsibility of a 5th child.  Wednesday night I went to bed totally distraught and ready to run away.  

But, as Annie says, "The sun'll come out tomorrow.", and it certainly has for me.  It's not that my circumstances have changed.  The challenges of adding a toddler and helping everyone "feel the love" are still very present.  BUT, my perspective has changed.

The Lord, in his very sweet way, has found ways to remind me of the truth, and I love it when he does that!  It started yesterday morning when the kids decided to pop in a CD while we cleaned up the breakfast dishes and I found myself dancing with Abe in the kitchen.  We Campbells have long been stress dancers and it was just the release I needed.  A song came on that I had never really listened carefully to before.  The lyrics of it caught me off-guard and I found tears streaming down my cheeks as I was reminded of how good God is.  I realized what a precious gift I was holding and how blessed I am to have traveled this amazing journey.   He also reminded me that this whole thing is so not about me and my to-do lists.  It's about making a difference in the lives of people and about doing his work- eternal work!

He also reminded me of his faithfulness as I put away our prayer jars.  A couple of years ago I started the prayer jars with my kids.  I wanted to teach them the importance of praying for others and I wanted a concrete way of making it happen.  So, we bought two mason jars and I labeled one "prayers" and the other, "praises."  We all add to the prayer jars by simply writing our request on a slip of paper.  We pull the jars out at breakfast each day.  Everyone pulls out a slip and prays for whatever request they draw out.  If we pull one out that's been answered, we thank God for it and move it to the praise jar.  Then, every few months, we take a few minutes to look through the praise jar and see what God has done.  It has been an amazingly easy and concrete way for my children to see the power of prayer.  Whenever they hear of a prayer need they are quick to insist that we put it in the prayer jar.  

In their own way, the prayer jars have sort of chronicled our adoption journey.  It started when the kids decided we needed a brother.  I was not at all open to the idea and I suggested they ask God if we should have a brother (of course I knew the answer would be NO!)  Here's the first slip:

Then, after a lot of heart work and a number of months, we came to the decision to adopt and we moved slip one to the praise jar and put this slip in the jar as we waited for our referral:

After referral came this slip:

And finally this one after our court date was assigned:

Now, tell me, how could a woman who spent 2 years praying for a child be so quick throw in the towel when the going gets tough?  Pretty pathetic, huh?  Fortunately, God sent me some gentle reminders of the truth.